For years, I have fantasized about a high school basketball tournament that I have yet to convince an athletic director to organize.
It is a mascot-themed tournament that I would love to see Bucyrus host (probably over the winter holiday break) featuring Fostoria (also Redmen), Coshocton Redskins and Port Clinton Redskins, all at Alex Kish Memorial Gymnasium. (In fairness, I have not proposed this to current Bucyrus AD Kelli Williams).
Such an affair would be a sports writer’s nightmare and would probably be nicknamed the Politically Incorrect Classic. Bucyrus could play, say, Port Clinton and Coshocton would face Fostoria on Friday. Winners would then play Saturday and losers likewise.
With the COVID-19 restrictions currently in place, I have had the time to consider some suggestions for the other county schools to host their own tournaments. Cabin fever has strange effects.
For instance, Wynford may want to host a royalty themed tourney. Athletic director Brent Konkle would invite Elwood (also Royals), the Marysville Monarchs and the Wellington Dukes.
Wynford might meet Wellington and Marysville could take on Elmwood on Friday. The ultimate winners on Saturday would then be “crowned” tournament champions. The tournament queen could lead a parade around the new gymnasium, waving to the crowd.
Colonel Crawford has a chance to create the Birds of Prey Invitational. Coach and AD David Sheldon could invite the Mount Healthy Fighting Owls, the Berlin Hiland Hawks, and the Hillsdale Falcons to the Eagles’ Nest in North Robinson.
It might be interesting for Crestline (Bulldogs) to organize a Canine Classic based on mascots that are dogs. Athletic director Greg Travis would invite the Shelby Whippets, the Manchester Greyhounds, and the West Salem Northwestern Huskies. The team that goes 0-2 ends up in that coach’s doghouse.
Galion AD Kyle Baughn bases his tournament on wild animal mascots. His Tigers would host the Minerva Lions, the Wadsworth Grizzlies, and the Margaretta Polar Bears. Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!
The tournament at Buckeye Central was a little more difficult. My idea would be to have a BUC Holiday Classic. In this scenario, athletic director Phil Loy would invite Medina Buckeye (also Bucks), Xenia (Buccaneers) and Covington Buccs. That’s not a typo but could lead to a few mistakes for those covering the event, on air or in print.
Those tournaments cover Crawford County, but my compulsion did not stop there. Tiffin Columbian could create a weather-related tournament — Tornadoes, Golden Gales (Lancaster), Thunderbolts (Northmont), and Hurricanes (Brooklyn).
Clyde would be the perfect place for an Aerial Tournament. The Fliers can invite the Lake Flyers, the Alliance Aviators, and the Ayersville Pilots. Or how about Vermilion (Sailors) hosting Shoremen (Avon Lake), Skippers (Fairport Harbor Harding), and the Blue Jackets of New Riegel, whose mascot is an anchor.
There are many possibilities for this nonsensical but somehow intriguing line of daydreaming, tailor-made for passing time during a pandemic. Here’s hoping we have basketball, even the regular schedules, next season.
Incidentally, these theme tournaments would also work for softball, baseball, and volleyball — maybe even a little easier than basketball.
If you would like to create your own imaginary tournaments, the OHSAA website lists all the mascot names in the state.
And, if our social distancing guidelines last much longer, you might thank me for the suggestion.