CRESTLINE — Kelli Quail will be speaking at the Transgender Day of Visibility event at the gazebo in downtown Mansfield.

She will be speaking openly Thursday, March 21 at 7 p.m., but until 2014, the truth of who she really is was a secret.

She started her life out as a young boy who felt different than the children around him. She only felt like herself when she dressed up in her mother’s clothes but because she was part of a Christian Evangelical household, she kept her feelings to herself.

For years, Quail served in the United States military, pastored a church in Mansfield and lived the life of husband and father of five. She kept her true self to herself until one day she realized she could not live a lie any longer.

“I bought a gun and the shells. I was going to end my life,” Quail said. “I thought it was better to die in a lie than subject my kids to the truth of who I really was.”

She went home, loaded the gun and was ready to pull the trigger when her unsuspecting wife came home.

“She was supposed to be away that day,” Quail said. “She was not supposed to come home but God told her something was wrong. She saved my life.”

It was at that moment Quail began to pray for God to help her. Quail said God led her to a local counselor, a professional in gender therapy.

“She was the first person that I was able to really open up to. I trust her completely,” Quail said.

Quail said transgender people make up about 1.7 percent of the population but have the highest rate of suicide at 34 percent.

“We need to take away the stigma,” Quail said. “This event on Thursday is to bring awareness to the issues facing transgender people and allow others the opportunity to gain knowledge and compassion. When someone is cruel to me when I am out in public, it stings but I pray for them because I know they really don’t understand.”

Quail said her saving graces have been her children and his church.

“I attend Crestline United Methodist Church. I still love Jesus and He loves me,” Quail said.

Quail said the transgender community has a lot of work to do.

“We are about 30 years behind gay people for rights,” Quail said. “We just want to be able to pursue life, liberty and happiness like everyone else.”

For more information about the event, visit the event’s Facebook page.