By Kimberly Gasuras
CCN Reporter

BUCYRUS ― Many Crawford County residents are furious after items were removed from gravesites at Oakwood Cemetery this week.

Many people shared photos on social media of a large pile of items behind the cemetery’s office building that they snapped while sifting through the pile to find items that belong to them.

Rebecca Van Hesteren buried her six-year-old son, Seth Dunford, in 2015 when he lost his battle with Batten’s Disease. She saw one of the posts on Facebook with a photo of the large pile of items.

“When I saw the post on Facebook that someone shared I was really upset,” Van Hesteren said. “I wanted and needed to know if my son’s belongings were still at his headstone like they were when I had visited a week prior. I made a couple phone calls to see if anyone in the area would be able to go check for me because I no longer live in town. When that failed, I made the hour drive to Bucyrus. I went to Seth’s grave and found the stone I had placed in the front corner was gone. It was like a stab in the gut.”

Van Hesteren said was extremely hurt and mad at the same time.

“That stone had the Amazing Grace quote on it,” she added. “It was a gift to me from my mom and my son for my birthday before he died. When Seth was a baby, I would sing Amazing Grace to him nightly. At his funeral, we had a family friend and Seth’s nurse, Annie, sing Amazing Grace, then when he was buried and before his headstone was placed, my daughter and I took that stone out to his grave.”

Van Hesteren said the stone has stayed in place for three years, until Wednesday.

“Part of the reason we chose Oakwood was that we were given 12 inches surrounding the headstone to do with as we pleased,” she said.

Van Hesteren went to the office at Oakwood Cemetery on Thursday morning after searching for the items from her son’s grave during the night.

“I asked why they had done this. I spoke to two women and a man that I was later told is the superintendent of the cemetery. All three of them were extremely rude and the man told me that it was my fault for being ignorant and not following the rules,” Van Hesteren said.

According to the rules provided by Oakwood staff, items may be placed on stones if they are attached with two-sided tape or another adhesive.

A board governs the cemetery and Ed Wise is a member of the board.

“We do this clean-up every year. Signs were posted at the cemetery. We cannot notify each person individually because there are over 13,000 graves at the cemetery and it would be impossible,” Wise said.

Judy Hoffman visits and maintains her son’s and mother’s graves several times each week.

“I was told by the women in the office that items were removed if they were not attached to the stone, yet my son has been buried there for three years and I have never had anything removed until now,” Hoffman said.

Hoffman said she was told by the cemetery staff that some graves were not maintained properly, and items were removed.

“The family members connected with those graves were mad, and because of that, I am told they went through and removed everyone’s items that are not attached,” Hoffman said. “It is not fair or right for people to be punished because of others. I maintain the graves several times a week so there was no reason to remove my things.”

Dee Williams visits the graves of her mother and brother on a regular basis. She said she was told the deadline for removing items was Aug. 1.

“My problem with it is that I went into the office and was specifically told that anything on the stone was okay. No mention of it needing to be affixed. I also told her about my brother’s flag, which she said would be a violation, so I took care of it,” said Williams. “People are being told different things and some graves with clear violations are untouched. Very confusing for everyone.”

Van Hesteren said she was told that the rules at the cemetery were revised April 27, 2017.

“My son died Jan. 19, 2015 and was buried a week later. Myself nor my family were ever notified of any board meeting or any change in the rules. When I visited my son’s grave a week ago, I did not notice any signs posted about removing items. I didn’t even see a sign posted when I was there last night to search for my son’s belongings. I did, however, see the sign when I went this morning,” Van Hesteren said. “The staff in the office then gave me a list of names and phone numbers and told me the decision for the belongings to be removed was a board decision and those names were the board members. I then sat in my car and called those numbers. While on the phone with a woman who answered at the president’s phone number, I watched several families dig through the mess the cemetery staff left like it was trash. Watching them and their hearts breaking as they searched was just as heartbreaking and infuriating as when I was there the night before searching.”

Van Hesteren said the staff claims they carefully placed the items out there and labeled them. These items were sprawled out on the lawn, some in Walmart or Kroger bags and some not wrapped at all. There were real flowers that had been dug up and placed out there along with many different forms of memorabilia. I asked the staff why they couldn’t have called the families or found another form of communication as was told that would be expensive,” Van Hesteren said.

Bucyrus resident Sonya Young visits and maintains her father’s gravesite twice a week.

“Some people’s flowers that they had planted were dug up but so far mine are still there. If items were not attached to the stone on a graveside, the cemetery removed them and put them in a big pile behind the building.  There were no signs put up regarding this and we weren’t sent letters,” Young said. “When I was there on Wednesday, I saw a woman sitting under a tree crying because items were removed from her baby’s grave. I know the cemetery has rules and they have to be able to maintain the area, but it just seems wrong to do that to people.”

Wise said people may speak with board members by phone or come to the next board meeting when it is scheduled.

“For some, or even most, these grave sites are all we have. I will never be able to enjoy things with my son that most take for granted. Visiting his site and leaving little things there for him is all we have,” Van Hesteren said. “To me, this was extremely selfish and complete disrespect from the Oakwood Cemetery staff. Each one of those families has paid a great deal of money to have our loved ones laid to rest there as a peaceful place for us to go and visit and remember. A way to honor our loved ones.”